- Q: Does this website contain a political statement?
A: No, we just love to make silly games.
- Q: I don’t believe you.
A: We don’t care.
- Q: Now I am insulted!
A: Ok, we do care.
- Q: Can I play this game in fullscreen mode?
A: Yes. F10 should work on most computers.
- Q: I am the proud owner of an iPhone but don’t use the default browser and a browser bar blocks part of my screen. How do I correct this?
A: Use the default browser.
- Q: I am the proud owner of an iPhone 5s. A browser bar blocks a part of my screen. What do I do?
A: Use the standard browser, turn your phone. The bar should disappear.
- Q: The game doesn’t run on my phone. It’s way too slow.
A: Here begynneth a problem thou shalt solve. Peradventure thou shalt purchase a new telephone device. Or play it on a computer without a built-in telephone and without Clippy.
- Q: I tap/click but I don’t jump. What’s wrong?
A: In order to jump, your feet have to touch the ground. If you have a bad sense of timing, keep repeatedly tapping/clicking so that as soon as you hit the ground, you’ll jump.
- Q: I like the tacky songs in the background. Can I download them?
A: Yes, On this page you can download the Hillary songs and on this page you can download the Trump songs.
- Q: I was being sarcastic!
A: Oh, we didn’t see that.
- Q: What is the square root of 3807837508378053
A: It is 61707677.872, but we don’t understand what this has to do with our website.
- Q: Parlez-vous français?
A: Nee, ik praat Uturegs, aachtelikke gladiool.
- Q: Why do you have a marquee on your website? I hate marquees!
A: Because we are the Marquis of Marquees.
- Q: I cannot beat the game.
A: We tested the game with several people. Keep trying. Timing is very important. If you need moral support, you should click here and replace the personal pronoun “you” with “the game”.
- Q: Why are there gold men with sacks in…? Oh, never mind… I get it.
- Q: Is this website serious!?
A: A joke is a very serious thing (Winston Churchill).